Friday Fun! (Real Search Terms People Have Used To Find My Blog)
Hello my lovely readers! I hope you all had good weeks. Mine was rather long as I a) found out I didn’t get a job I really wanted and b) had dental surgery that seems to *still* have not fixed the problem. But! Life goes on, and I have good friends, a fun city, a snuggly kitty, and an adorable apartment to live in. So all will be well.
Today I thought I’d give you a little insight into the behind-the-scenes here at Opinions of a Wolf, not to mention the psyche of our fellow Earthlings, and show you some actual search terms people have used to find my blog. Offered with commentary, naturally.
- seitan fondue (4 hits)
Wow, this is…..rather brilliant, actually. I suddenly have this urge to make seitan and fondue and EAT ALL THE THINGS.
- marge piercy woman on the edge of time chapter summaries (4 hits)
Hello, students. Sorry, I’m afraid you four are going to actually have to read the book if you want such detailed summary. It’s a good one! You’ll enjoy it! I’ll even give you a metaphorical cookie for reading it.
- jondalar cheats (5 hits)
Oh, fellow fans of the Earth’s Children series. I regret to inform you that yes, it is true. Jondalar does cheat on Ayla. I hope my review saved you from having to read the god-awful last book in the series.
- to say nothing of the dog movie (5 hits)
Wait! Is this happening?!?! *googles* No. No, it is not happening. Brilliant idea though, fellow Connie Willis fans.
- urbmon 116 (5 hits)
To clarify, this is a key building in a tiny, not super-well known scifi book that I’m always trying to get people to read entitled The World Inside by Robert Silverburg, so I’m rather baffled as to why people are googling the urbmon? Where are they hearing about this? Why are they googling it as opposed to the name of the book? Inquiring minds want to know.
- become a wolf leave comment (5 hits)
….what? No, really, what? Let me clarify things for you, googlers who I really hope are delusional teenagers who need more to do. You cannot become a wolf. That is not possible. That is a thing we call fantasy.
- gilf (6 hits)
*sighs* For those of you who may not know what this acronym is, it stands for “Grandma I’d Like to Fuck.” Yeah. GRANDMA. Hey, I mean, whatever moves you, but as a librarian I can tell you there are better search terms for you to find this sort of p*rn on the internet, folks.
- metropolis drinking game (6 hits)
BLESS YOU PEOPLE. I made that for the heck of it, because it amused me, and somewhere out there are other black and white film nerds who had similar thoughts. I have some modicum of hope for humanity.
- image of female great plains wolf howling (2 hits)
So…..two people needed an image of a great plains wolf howling, but it *had* to be female? Why does the gender matter?
- “circumcising her clitoris” (2 hits)
GAH! NOT OK. NOT OK.
- saraha desert (2 hits)
You might have better luck if you listen to google and change your spelling to sahara, since there is no saraha desert. You’re welcome.
- gross factors about the centipede (3 hits)
*head hits desk giggling* Oh, something tells me my post about The Human Centipede was not the gross thing they were looking for.
- siluet wolf (1 hit)
- i’m poor and boring (1 hit)
Boohoo. Get off the internet and go read something or go for a run or something.
- sparknotes for revolution is not a dinner party (1 hit)
Apparently this is being assigned in classes now. It is not a long book, kids, just read it.
- 1973 boobs (1 hit)
Ok, why specifically boobs from 1973? I’m pretty sure boobs from every decade are relatively similar.
- cute werepanther pictures (1 hit)
- i want to fuck michelle beavan (1 hit)
I don’t know why you think googling this will get you what you want, but then again, men think catcalling women will make us get in their cars with them, so *shrug*
And there you have it. We have students trying to avoid reading (JUST READ IT), some fellow nerds who enjoy alcohol (*waves*), a few health nuts, people obsessed with wolves and werewolves, and a lot of horny people. A lot of them. I don’t blame you at all. That’s what the internet is for after all. You just….probably will only find erotica recommendations here as opposed to visual p*rn.
In all seriousness, though, these hits just show part of the fun of having a blog. You get a bit of insight into other folks, not to mention get to feel you might not be so weird after all. I mean, six other people wanted a drinking game for Metropolis after all……
Happy weekends all!