Friday Fun! (What Goes Up Must Come Down or I Order Zen Flesh Zen Bones From My Library)
Hello my lovely readers! Those of you who follow me on twitter know that this week turned into a doom week from hell for me after my cheerfulness last weekend.
I really need to learn to stop tempting the fates thusly, DAMMIT.
It’s not that any one horrible thing happened; it was just one of those weeks. First off, I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months who I was really liking, but I wound up having to break up with him on Tuesday. Let’s just say, he wasn’t treating me the way I deserve to be treated, and I’m older and wiser and don’t put up with that shit anymore. But still! It’s sucky. It’s sucky to be backed into a corner and have to do something that sucks. It’s sucky to think you’ve met someone who might be right for you, and it turns out they’re not. It’s just sucky. It’s also sucky to have that happen and currently be working on a paranormal romance novella then discover that you’ve written the last 3,000 words without the male love interest showing up because you’re just not into that right now and have to write just short stories all week. That sucks too.
Second, I somehow wound up working both of my jobs three days in a row, which means that I’ve been gone from home from 7:30am to 11pm. Not. Fun. I need to learn how to say no to the part-time job sometimes. It is, after all, part-time. At the very least I need to never do three days in a row again.
Suffice to say all this stress and emotions (damn them) added together to lead to me walking home from work in the rain. Crying. I was a walking, eye-roll inducing scene from an overly dramatic movie. Only I ended my walk with whiskey and whining to @bitchylibrarian on gchat.
It’s ok though. Really, it is. One huge thing I’ve been working on in my 20s is accepting reality for what it is. Which leads me to why I ordered Zen Flesh Zen Bones from the library this week.
The day that I was preparing myself to accept the fact that, yes, dude I was seeing wasn’t treating me right and I needed to stand up to that shit, I saw this excerpt from the book on tumblr:
Twenty monks and one nun, who was named Eshun, were practicing meditation with a certain Zen master.
Eshun was very pretty even though her head was shaved and her dress plain. Several monks secretly fell in love with her. One of them wrote her a love letter, insisting upon a private meeting.
Eshun did not reply. The following day the master gave a lecture to the group and when it was over, Eshun arose. Addressing the one who had written her, she said: “If you really love me so much, come and embrace me now.”
That’s all there is to it, isn’t it? If someone really cares for you, everyone will know. It won’t be in secret, and it won’t be something hidden. If you really love me so much, come and embrace me now. Here. In front of everyone. And you know what? That’s what all my lovely friends do, which is why they stay my friends. They tweet me encouragement when I have a shitty week. They tell jokes to try to get me to laugh. They text me to check in. They are just generally awesome, and that’s the kind of people we should want to have in our life. People who ease the stress of living, not people who add to it. And I’m pleased to say that tomorrow I get to see at least some of them for an awesome fall potluck I’m hosting. I can’t wait! Although I will miss those who can’t make it.
As my yoga instructor says:
Shanti Shanti Shanti Namaste
Or as myself and Regretsy like to put it: