On New Year’s Eve, four incredibly different strangers accidentally meet on Topper’s House a popular local spot for suicides. Somehow running into each other leads to them taking the long way down that night instead of the quick one. What happens after is a continuance of their life stories that no one could have predicted.
I distinctly remember that this book made it into my tbr pile because of the suicide theme. What makes these four different people want to kill themselves, and what makes them not do it. Clearly this is a book about depression and suicidality. But it is not a depressing book. Not by far.
Without revealing too much, since the revelations are part of the fun of the read, I will just say that the four suicidal people span different generations, reasons, and nations of origin. Different levels of conservatism and liberalism. But what makes them come to understand each other is their universal depression and suicidal thoughts. This fact that someone out there gets them….well oftentimes that can help get a profoundly depressed or mentally unwell person over the hump. Feeling less alone.
Her past was in the past, but our past, I don’t know…Our past was still all over the place. We could see it every day when we woke up. (page 253)
In spite of this being a book about depressed people bonding over their depression, it doesn’t read as such. I was reading it on an airplane and found myself literally laughing out loud at sections. Because these people are brilliant. They have a great understanding of the world. Of art. Of relationships. Even of themselves.
I had that terrible feeling you get when you realize that you’re stuck with who you are, and there’s nothing you can do about it. (page 208)
That is, after all, frequently what depression can be all about. A profoundly clear understanding of how royally fucked up you are or your life is. What’s hard is seeing past that moment. The book is kind of a snapshot of the process of them learning to do that. And that’s what makes it so eloquent and poignant. Nothing is done melodramatically. Things are just presented as they are. Even down to the four being able to laugh together periodically (and make you laugh in the process). Depression isn’t just oh everything sucks nonstop. There are moments of laughter. It’s just that those moments are outweighed by the weight of the depression. Getting rid of that weight is a cleansing, uplifting process, and that’s how it feels to read this book. You bond and you laugh and you maybe even cry (if you have more susceptible tear ducts than this reader). And in the end you come to an understanding of that suicidal dark place without being abandoned in it.
Overall this book manages to eloquently present depression without being a depressing book. It is compelling to any reader who has ever struggled with a depressed period of life. Highly recommended to the depressed and the sympathetic. Both will be left feeling lighter and less alone.
4 out of 5 stars