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Book Review: To a Mountain in Tibet by Colin Thubron (Audiobook narrated by Steven Crossley)

May 15, 2012 2 comments

Building in front of a mountain.Summary:
After the death of his mother, who also was his last living family member, Colin set out on a journey to the mountain of Kailas in Tibet.  The mountain is holy to both Hindus and Buddhists and is closely associated with the process of dying and crossing over.  Through his eyes we see the people of Tibet and his emotional journey.

Review:
I am not sure if words can describe what an epic miss this book was for me.  The combination of British western eyes othering Tibetans, an entire chapter dedicated to his father’s big game hunting, a surprising lack of emotional processing of death, and the *shudders* British accented narrator imitating Indian and Tibetan accents…..oh god.  It was painful.

I see nothing wrong with a Western person traveling and appreciating something revered in another culture.  If it is done right, it can be a beautiful thing. A lesson in how we are all different and yet the same.  Yet through Colin’s eyes I felt as if I was very uncomfortably inhabiting the shoes of a colonizing douchebag.  Perhaps part of it was the narration style of Crossley, but it felt as if Colin was judging and caricaturing all of the Tibetans and Indians he met.  There was so little empathy from someone supposedly on this journey to deal with death of loved ones.  You’d expect more from him.  I could accept this perspective more if either Colin learned over the course of the trip or this was an older memoir, but neither is true!  This is a recent memoir, and Colin is the exact same self-centered prick he was when he went in.

Similarly, Colin when he is not othering the Tibetans and Indians is either reminiscing joyfully on his father’s exploits as a big game hunter and basically colonizing douche in India or giving us a history lesson in Hinduism and Buddhism.  Ok?  But he’s not an expert in these religions and also that was not the point of the book?  A few explanations here and there, sure, but if I wanted to learn about Buddhism or Hinduism, I sure wouldn’t be getting it from a travel memoir from an old British dude.  I’m just saying.

Overall, this is an incredibly odd book.  It is a book out of time that feels as if it should have been written by an understandably backward gentleman traveler in the early 1900s, not by a modern man.  I honestly cannot recommend it to anyone.

2 out of 5 stars

Source: Audible

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Book Review: A Dog Named Slugger by Leigh Brill

April 4, 2012 1 comment

Face of golden retriever.Summary:
Leigh Brill recounts in her memoir her life before, during, and after her first service dog, Slugger, a golden retriever with a heart just as golden.  Leigh had no idea her cerebral palsy could even possibly qualify her for a service dog until a similarly disabled fellow graduate student gave her some information.  Her touching memoir tracks her journey, as well as the life of Slugger.

Review:
This was my first book borrowed from the kindle lending library, and it was such a great experience!  I know people were skeptical that maybe only low-quality books would be available, but this one is absolutely stunning.  I sort of wish I had bought it, just to support Leigh’s service dog efforts.

It’s difficult for me to describe what a pleasure this book was to read.  It covers three areas that are a passion of mine–animals as beings worthy of rights, the experience of any type of disability and the extra difficulties that come with that, and the need for universal rights.  Top this off with the fact that this is a memoir, a beautifully written one, and I was left nearly speechless.  Leigh’s descriptions of learning to communicate with Slugger, Slugger’s unconditional love healing her heart, and the discrimination she faced in public areas with a service dog, they all left me feeling so connected to her.  It’s impossible not to be touched by a story of how an animal changes a person’s life.  But how an animal changes a disabled person’s life, a person with a disability that is less obvious than others, a person who other people have laughed at and neglected to help.  It’s just yet another example of how powerful the human/animal connection can be when we let it.

Of course, this gorgeous experience wouldn’t be possible without talented writing on the part of Leigh.  She manages clear, chronological story-telling without missing the opportunity to reflect on how various experiences affected and changed her.  She strikes an eloquent balance between reflecting on her relationship with Slugger and talking about her experiences as a disabled person.

Overall, this is a beautiful memoir that eloquently discusses the companionship of animals, as well as the experiences of a woman with cerebral palsy.  I highly recommend it to all, but especially to those with an interest in memoirs and disability studies.

5 out of 5 stars

Source: Kindle Lending Library

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Book Review: Trespasses: A Memoir by Lacy M. Johnson

March 21, 2012 1 comment

Barbed wire traveling through words.Summary:
Lacy grew up in Missouri to a traditional, poor farming family that never bothered to keep track of its European roots.  Through interviews with her family members and a series of personal vignettes, Lacy explores what it is to be white and poor in America, the farming community, and the odd in-between Missouri inhabits as not quite southern and not quite midwestern.

Review:
The concept behind this book is excellent.  The execution is discombobulated with a few gems at best, off-putting to the reader at worst.

I think what is most difficult about this book as a reader is that we jump around through time and situations with no guidance.  Who is Judith?  How is she related to Archie?  For that matter, how is she related to the author?  We have no real idea.  I’m not against the jumps around the family time-line as a method in contrast to the more traditional linear timeline, but the reader needs to know who we are reading about.  I honestly think an intro with a simple, straight-forward family tree would have helped immensely.  Instead we have to wait until later in the book to determine who these women are that the author is speaking about.  It leaves things confused.

Then there’s the narration style.  It jumps from “you are so and so” to third person to first person past to first person present without any real rhyme or reason.  I can appreciate the style of the individual vignettes.  Individually, they are well-written.  But assembled together into one single book where they are all supposed to tell a cohesive story, they are puzzling and off-putting.

The absolute strength of the work is when Lacy puts down her story-telling mantel and simply talks about the history of the terms “white trash, cracker,” what it is to grow up white trash, what it is to change class setting from poor to academic.  These were interesting and relatable.  I believe this is the author’s strong point and would encourage her to pursue this in future works.  It is certainly an experience that she is not alone in having in her lifetime.

Overall although the concept of this memoir is strong and unique, the method of time-jumping vignettes and constantly changing narration styles make for a confusing read.  I would recommend you browse a copy in a library or a bookstore if you are interested in the author’s writing style or one or two particular vignettes, but not venture beyond that.

2 out of 5 stars

Source: NetGalley

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Book Review: Falling For Me: How I Hung Curtains, Learned to Cook, Traveled to Seville, and Fell in Love by Anna David

January 31, 2012 9 comments

Polka-dot book coverSummary:
Anna David is a successful writer in her mid 30s living in NYC when an overwhelming depression hits her.  She’s still single.  What’s wrong with her?  While fighting off tears in the self-help section, she finds a copy of Sex and the Single Girl by Helen Gurley Brown, which was a bestseller in the 1960s.  Essentially a guide to being happy single while still keeping an eye open for Mr. Right, Anna instantly connects with Helen Gurley Brown and decides to spend the next year challenging herself and taking advantage of everything being single has to offer.

Review:
It should really need no explaining why I picked this book up.  I’ve always been the relationship type (even when I tried not to be), but I also won’t settle for just anybody, and sometimes that combination leads to some ennui.  I was hoping I would find a connection to and insight from Anna, and I was certainly right about that.

The very first chapter has Anna breaking down in line for food in her head, basically saying, “I’m going to be alone forever,” and going on from there adding that she’ll be the crazy old maid cat lady and going further and further on into ridiculousness that really doesn’t seem that ridiculous when it’s your brain saying it to yourself.  I knew instantly that Anna and I would get along.

As opposed to a lot of other single gal memoirs, the focus is neither just love yourself the way you are nor fake everything to land a man.  It’s more like….Do you have any idea how lucky you are to even have this phase in your life?  You’re single!  You can do anything, go anywhere, decorate however you want, and etc…  Anna realizes that she hasn’t been taking full advantage of the things being single affords to her.  Things like deciding to house swap and live for a month in Seville (try doing that with a baby) or taking French classes in the evening or spending the day rollerblading and winding up in a park in the sun.  So Anna isn’t just trudging along being herself.  She’s pushing herself to try new things, go new places, and yes the future Mr. Anna may be there, but even if he’s not, she’s still having a fun time doing it.

The book also addresses another common issue among single women and, well, people in general–grass is always greener syndrome.  Anna eventually realizes that she seems to think all of her problems will just disappear if and when she gets married, when that is really not the case at all if you pay an iota of attention to married couples.

One specific line in S&SG that I keep thinking of—“I’ve never met a completely happy single girl or a completely happy married one”—and how it’s helped me to see that I’m somehow convinced that getting to the next stage will make me instantly joyous.  (page 36)

The other thing that is sooo relatable that Anna talks about is how it’s so easy to become so desperate for a partner that you start trying to change yourself for him or worry constantly about whether or not you’re good enough for him, when that’s not how dating is supposed to work!

You spend all your time trying to manipulate a guy into wanting you to be his girlfriend when what you should be doing is enjoying yourself and then later figuring out if you even want him as a boyfriend.  (page 205)

There are definitely things about Anna that I don’t like or I disagree with (for instance, she eats veal and foie gras, ahem, the book almost got thrown across the room at that point), but even though we’re different, we’re also the same.  We’re two single gals who are wondering why everyone else seems to be coupling up but me?  What Anna slowly realizes over her year-long experiment is that there is no timeline for love and marriage.  It’s not like it’s a game of musical chairs and she’ll be left the only one without one.  Maybe her music is just playing at a different speed.  I think that’s a really important thing to remember and touching to see someone else struggling with, because it’s far too easy to start pressuring ourselves and the men we date into situations that just aren’t right for either of us.  It’ll happen when it happens.

This is a rare instance when I feel the need to sort of reveal the ending.  I was worried the book would end with Anna abundantly happy in a relationship, kind of like Eat, Pray, Love, which honestly would only have made me more depressed.  Like the book was all about yay singlehood but I still landed a man, right?  But no.  Who Anna falls in love with is not a man, but herself.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand: I used to not really believe I deserved thick, gorgeous panels for my windows or to pull books from a bookshelf specifically selected for my apartment. It didn’t occur to me that I was worth cooking homemade chicken soup for or dressing in beautiful clothes. I thought I was half a person because I didn’t have a partner but that when I had one, I’d do those things for him. Now I see that I’m entirely whole so that if and when I find him, we can be two whole people together, not the person and a half we would have been.  (page 305)

Yes, yes, yes!  Finally.  A book about being single and loving yourself and taking care of yourself and being a whole person as just you.  Sure, the professionals tell us that, but it’s super-nice to get to hear it from a gal who could easily be somebody I have bimonthly cocktails with.

I highly recommend this book to any single ladies in their 20s and up.  It’s a nice reminder that we’re not the only ones learning to love ourselves and be patient for the right person.

4 out of 5 stars

Source: Public Library

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Book Review: Brothers (and Me): A Memoir of Loving and Giving by Donna Britt

January 19, 2012 2 comments

Old photograph in bottom right corner of Britt's family.Summary:
Now in her fifties, Donna Britt, an award-winning and ground-breaking black, female journalist, takes a look back at her life to see what has influenced her the most.  She is unsurprised to find that her life has largely been affected by loving and giving to brothers–black men she’s both related to and not.  From growing up surrounded by three blood brothers, to loving brothers, to raising them, Britt discusses the universal influence heterosexual women’s love for men has on their lives, as well as the unique aspect of loving a race of men persecuted in the United States and raising her three boys in the face of the odds stacked against them.

Review:
Britt’s career as a writer shows in her memoir.  It is the most well put-together memoir I’ve read in quite some time.  Each chapter looks at a key event in her life in order of it being lived, but also looks at the impact those events had on her as a person.  She does this by starting with a photograph and an anecdote related to the event, then moves on to describing the event in detail.  Everything in her life, though, is impacted by her brother, Darrell’s, death at the hands of two policemen in his early 20s.  This terribly unjust incident and how it flavors the rest of her life is the simplest and most effective anti police brutality message I’ve ever read.  Was her brother threatening the officers? Maybe.  But all it would have taken was for those two men to aim to stop rather than to kill to prevent the loss of someone’s loved one.  Britt says later in her memoir that she knows that those officers just saw “a crazy black man” and not a person, and it is now her goal to always see the person, not the stereotype.

Britt, like other memoirists I’ve enjoyed, never takes a “poor me” attitude or tone, in spite of the fact that she really could given the loss of her brother, being raped, and a first marriage to a man who soon got lost in cocaine addiction.  Not to mention her second husband’s affair.  Yet, through all of this, Britt’s resilience is evident.  She constantly tries to improve not just the world but herself.  Britt has an ability to look at herself without rose-tinted glasses.  She knows her own faults, primarily that she’s a perfectionist and expects too much from people.  I think that’s what makes her so relatable and sympathetic.  She’s an imperfect person struggling in an imperfect world, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t right about the injustices she’s seen throughout her life.

I think any female reader who has a brother can understand the other central question in Britt’s memoir–How exactly did these boys who were our brothers who loved us and pranked us and guarded us with their fists when we were young grow up into these baffling men?  Boys are easy to understand.  Men, not so much.  That’s even the case with Britt’s own brothers, one of whom grew from a rebel into a religious man who changes his name from Steve to Melech and whom she barely speaks to anymore.  Why is it when boys become men and we go from girls to women that communication becomes so hard?  Hard, but rewarding and not impossible.  Sure, no answers are offered, but it’s nice to see this experience through someone else’s eyes.

Beyond social justice and the universal communication difficulties between men and women, Britt’s memoir also clearly demonstrates an issue that is sometimes hard to explain–that of privilege.  Those born with privilege sometimes have a hard time understanding what, exactly, it is those without it are speaking about.  I sometimes wonder myself if I’d understand privilege if I’d been born a white MAN instead of a white WOMAN.  Britt with a gift of subtlety makes this clear.  She talks about needing to be extra perfect, extra good in order to combat the stereotype of the useless black children.  Of feeling like she’s representing the entire race when she’s the only black student in her graduate class.  Of the fact that maybe if her brother had been white and acting crazy the cops might not have shot him.  Of being extra concerned when her son shoplifts because he probably wouldn’t get away with just a slap on the wrist if he got caught.  Instead of talking loudly about privilege, it’s simply evident throughout her entire life and the lives of those around her.  I would hope that anyone reading this would start to see how inequality survives today, even if it’s not as institutionalized as it once was.

Overall, this is a powerful memoir by a humble woman that again demonstrates why it’s important to listen to the life stories of those older than us.  There is always something to learn or to relate to from their life journey.  I, naturally, don’t always agree with Britt or her choices, but I respect her commitment to living the best life she can.

I recommend this memoir to fans of the genre, especially, but also to those with an interest in racism in 20th century America and relationships between men and women.

4 out of 5 stars

Source: NetGalley

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Book Review: For a Dancer: The Memoir by Emma J. Stephens

December 19, 2011 4 comments

Two blond childrenSummary:
Emma recounts her childhood growing up with an outgoing older sister, a permissive father, and an addict stepfather in rural America.  She then relates attending college as a single mother, her failed marriage, and studying abroad in Paris.

Review:
Imagine the most whiny, entitled, immature person you know.  Now imagine that person perceives herself as simultaneously awesome, intelligent, and put-upon.  Now imagine that person wrote a memoir and couldn’t even maintain the same tense throughout.  That’s Stephens’ memoir. To a T.

Yes, a few things in Emma’s childhood weren’t perfect, but most people don’t have life handed to them on a silver platter.  Her sister overshadowed her a bit.  Her stepfather was an addict who had to go to rehab.  Interestingly, though, Emma and her sister were unaware of his addiction until her mother and stepfather sat them down to explain why he was going into rehab.  It seemed to me that they actually handled the situation quite well.  When Emma’s stepfather returns from rehab, he and her sister clash a bit in the typical teenage angst style, but since the girls also have a father, Emma’s sister moves in with him and their stepmother.  It is at this point that Emma starts making the series of dumb decisions that really mess up her life for….well for forever.

Emma ditches her mother and stepfather who had just made over her room for her and goes to live with her absentee father and stepmother who really aren’t behaving like parents at all.  Emma proceeds to whine about this situation, when she did it to herself.  She whines about everything about living there, when all she had to do was go back to the healthy household with her mom and stepfather.  Why didn’t she?  Dare I to suggest that she actually liked the freedom, no responsibilities, slacking off in school, getting drunk, having sex, etc…?  Why, yes I do.  She then proceeds to run away from home multiple times, scaring the crap out of her mother, who appears to be the only one who goes looking for her.  It’s the typical what do we do with this horrible out of control teenager story only told from the teenager’s perspective.  Aka, it’s terrible.  It’s horrible to read about.  There is no remorse, no chagrin.  Everyone else is always at fault but Emma.

Perhaps teenage angst can be forgivable, but what occurs later was simply horrifying to read about, partially because at first it seems that Emma is straightening her life out.  She gets pregnant, keeps the baby, and still completes her pre-med courses and graduates with her BS.  This is admirable.  I’m sure it was difficult, and she seems to be focused on providing a good life for her son.  That all quickly ceases though when she gives up on becoming a doctor, gets married, moves to LA, gets a boob job, and then starts shopping herself and her son around for movie roles.  You claim you want to give your son a better life, so you throw him to the wolves in Hollywood? Really?

Naturally, the marriage doesn’t work out, and we then see a series of men coming into and out of her son, Gabriel’s, life.  He is routinely left with friends or family so Emma can gallyvant around with these various men, oh, not to mention go do a semester abroad in France without her son when he’s only 11 years old.  All she can seem to think about or focus on is money.  Not creating satisfying relationships. Not broadening her horizons.  Not anything but money.  Think I’m exaggerating?  She ends up ditching her son for weekends so she can fly across the country to be a high-class hooker.  Meanwhile, her mother has settled in the mountains and become an addiction specialist.  If you’ve ever needed proof goodness isn’t genetic, there it is.  In fact, I’d love to read her mother’s memoir.  I bet she has a lot more valuable things to say.

Perhaps all of that could be bearable if she simply wrote well, but she doesn’t.  She talks in circles and constantly changes tenses to the point where following the story is incredibly difficult.

Overall, this is a badly written memoir by a person who is a bad daughter and irresponsible mother who has seemingly learned nothing from her mistakes.  I cannot in good faith recommend it to anyone.

1 out of 5 stars

Source: Print copy via LibraryThing’s EarlyReviewers

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Book Review: From This Moment On by Shania Twain

November 14, 2011 7 comments

Up close image of Shania Twain.Summary:
Shania Twain shot to fame on the country music charts in 1995 with her second album The Woman in Me.  Her music was part of the new generation of 90s country, featuring such artists as Toby Keith, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, etc…, that would blend country and pop for a new sound.  In her memoir Shani recounts her life from her childhood in the northern part of Ontario, Canada to her sudden fame to the heartbreaking realization that her husband was cheating on her with her best friend to her recovery and new life.

Review:
While other girls of the 90s were obsessed with The Spice Girls and Britney Spears, I fan girled out over Shania Twain.  My family was a country music household to begin with, so getting my parents to be cool with me listening to pop was always a creative act.  (I remember I got away with listening to Britney Spears by getting my mother to listen to Hit Me Baby One More Time and like it and then revealed that it was Britney Spears. I’ve always been a wily lady.)  In any case, I needed to employ none of this trickery to listen to Shania.  As country music she had the stamp of approval, plus my big brother had bought her cd.  I was 8 years old when The Woman in Me came out, and I remember being completely blown away by “Any Man of Mine.”  (Go watch the video.  I can wait.)  I was blown out of the water.  Whereas most country I’d heard prior was all about love and heartbreak and cheating husbands, here was a woman saying loud and proud that she deserves to be treated right, dammit!  Let’s just say it really appealed to the feminist inside me.  When I found out she was from “the bush” of Canada and a poor family closely tied to Native culture, well, I was insanely curious, but Shania has always kept her private life private, so I was left to wonder.  Needless to say, when I heard at the beginning of this year that Shania would be publishing a memoir, I pre-ordered it.  I had to know more about this woman whose music so spoke to lonely little rural girl of the 90s.

Shania’s memoir is very different from any others I have read.  She does not involve many storytelling tropes.  She only quotes people twice in the entire book.  She reflects a lot, similar to, perhaps, if you’ve ever had the chance to listen to an older relative think out loud about her life.  It does not read like a story, but it does feel as if you were granted a couple hours of private access to one of the more private country stars.

The strongest part of the book is without a doubt when she is reflecting on her family and upbringing in Canada.  It becomes abundantly clear that perhaps Shania’s reclusiveness has more to do with the fact that while she loved music she had no dreams of being a star.  Her mother decided her daughter would be a star and pushed her into it.

Imagine what a burden that is for a young girl. I just wanted music, not necessarily a music career. But because I felt obligated by her dedication to me her singer, I never had the heart to consider anything else in life, even though I’d dreamed of maybe becoming a veterinarian. I also developed a passion for design and architecture that continues to this day. In fact, that’s probably what I would have pursued had my mother not been so forceful about music. (location 1634)

I find it fascinating how often famous people were pushed into that career path as a child.  What makes parents do this?  I remember when I was a kid I wanted to “be a star,” and my father sat me down and told me to think really hard about it, because I’d lose all privacy and normalcy.  I gave up on the idea and decided to be a reclusive writer instead.  So what makes other parents push their kids into it?

Well, it’s obvious Shania’s mother had an incredibly rough life.  Her family was below the poverty line with young mouths to feed.  Her mother’s relationship was abusive, and she struggled with depression.

The perpetual undertow of financial instability took its tool in other ways, as it usually does, compromising my parents’ love for each other at times and no doubt feeding my mother’s recurrent bouts of depression. (location 189)

Ah.  I can only guess that Shania’s mother saw a chance for financial stability for her daughter’s future in her talent, pinpointing most of her life’s troubles on a lack of money.  Funny how Shania then succeeded and went on to have similar problems simply on the opposite end of the financial spectrum.

The section of the book dealing with fame, recording, making music videos, etc… is frankly disappointing.  Shania barely brushes the surface of what actually went on behind the scenes, instead focusing in on how drained and dissatisfied her newfound fame made her feel.  Passages largely read like this:

I was starting to feel as if I’d lost my chops at life’s fundamentals—and I’d been someone who could survive on my own in a cabin in the woods with no running water or electricity in subzero temperatures and snow up to my butt. Now, with a skilled full-time staff at home to handle every domestic and personal chore for me, I felt…useless and inept. (location 4905)

An interesting reflection, no doubt, but I really wanted to know what happened during the, at the time controversial, “The Woman in Me” video shoot in Egypt, for example.  Details like this combined with the reflections on the dissatisfaction of fame would have made for a more powerful book, in my opinion.

The last section of the book addresses Shania’s time off from music, the birth of her son Eja, and the dissolution of her marriage to music producer Mutt Lange.  This part is hard to read, because it is so abundantly clear that those around her have used and abused Shania (her husband cheated on her with her best friend in Switzerland).  This is a woman for whom for her whole life family and being in touch with nature have mattered to her far more than anything else, and yet these things seem to be denied her.  It saddens me that the woman who sang such strong music has in fact spent most of her life trying to make other people happy.  This memoir was written as a way to deal with the end of her marriage, and I hope that through it Shania has found some peace and starts listening to her heart about what she really values and needs.  It is so evident in the last third of the book that she is trying to buy happiness with more and more property and perfectly built homes.  If only there was some way for the peace and quiet loving singer/songwriters of the world to get their music to others without suffering from the entrapment of fame.  Maybe the internet will help with that.

Overall, I found this to be a moving memoir, if a bit flawed.  It meanders sometimes and skips over some things that fans would definitely want to know about, but it is an interesting insight into the mind and life of  a famous country singer and gives an interesting look at the negative effects of fame, even if they aren’t as huge as drug overdoses.

4 out of 5 stars

Source: Amazon

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Book Review: A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard

August 18, 2011 5 comments

Picture of Jaycee at the age of 11.Summary:
On January 10, 1991, eleven year old Jaycee Lee Dugard was abducted from her school bus stop by Phillip and Nancy Garrido with the aid of a stun-gun.  Jaycee was locked up in a backyard compound and repeatedly raped and abused by Phillip in a bid to satisfy his pedophilia.  Over the course of her 18 year captivity, Jaycee gave birth to two daughters in the compound.  Eventually with her increasing age, the sexual assaults stopped, but she was still held captive.  Finally, on August 26, 2009, Phillip brought Jaycee and her daughters with him to the parole office in an attempt to explain away why he was spotted in public with the two girls.  Jaycee, who hadn’t been allowed to speak her name for 18 years, was able to write it down for the police.  This is the memoir of her experience and gradual recovery from the captivity.

Review:
Jaycee wrote this memoir without the assistance of a ghost writer, something very uncommon in memoirs by victims of abduction.  She states in the beginning that her way of remembering things is a bit off because of the trauma, but that her way of telling her story will provide a genuine experience for the reader to truly see how the abduction affected her.  She is correct that the memoir is not set up in a traditional way, but this tends to make for stronger books when discussing something as painful as this.  It reminds me a bit of the very non-traditional story-telling methods used in another memoir When Rabbit Howls.  Eliminating the ghost writer and letting the victim speak grants us, the readers, the opportunity to truly connect with a survivor.  I humbly thank Jaycee for her bravery in this.

Most of the chapters start with Jaycee remembering the events from the perspective of her younger self.  This absolutely makes scenes such as her first molestation by Phillip incredibly haunting.  She then ends each chapter with a reflection from her adult, free perspective on the past.  This structure is unique, but it provides an interesting perspective, showing both Jaycee the victim and Jaycee the survivor.  Toward the end of the book this structure is lost a bit as we suddenly are shown many pages from the journal Jaycee carefully kept in captivity, as well as talking in a more present manner about the therapy she’s been going through.  Her therapist sounds truly remarkable.  She uses horses to help the survivors deal with problems, which seems to work incredibly well for Jaycee who often only had animals around to talk to during her 18 year ordeal.

Although Jaycee does recount her abuse and manipulation at the hands of Phillip, that is not at all what stands out in this memoir.  What comes across is what a strong, sensitive, caring woman Jaycee is.  She is not lost in woe is me.  She does not even think she has it the worst of anyone in the world.  The one thing she repeatedly states she’s learned is that she was not assertive enough as a little girl, and that personality trait backfired on her repeatedly throughout the ordeal.  She states that she sees this as the reason abuse of all kinds are able to go on, because people don’t speak up.

There are moments in which all of us need to have a backbone and feel that we have the right to say no to adults if we believe they are doing the wrong thing. You must find your voice and not be afraid to speak up. (page 143)

This message of “speak up” is stated repeatedly throughout the book and leaves the reader feeling empowered rather than downtrodden at such a tale.  If Jaycee could live through such a situation and come out of it stronger and as an advocate for victims and survivors of abuse to speak up, how can any of us do any less?

I recommend this book to those who enjoy memoirs and survival stories and can handle scenes of a disturbing nature.

4 out of 5 stars

Source: Amazon

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Book Review: I Am Hutterite by Mary Ann Kirkby

July 26, 2011 3 comments

Woman in traditional Hutterite garb in a field.Summary:
Mary Ann Kirkby recounts her unique childhood in her memoir.  She was born into a Hutterite family.  The Hutterites are a religious sect similar to the Amish only they believe that living communally is a mandate for Christians.  Mary Ann recounts her childhood both in the religious sect (her particular group was located in western Canada), as well as the journey and culture shock she went through when her parents left the Hutterites when she was nine years old.

Review:
I actually read this memoir because of the situation in which I first ran into Hutterites and have been fascinated with them ever since.  For a couple of years, my father and brother lived in Montana.  I went to visit them and was shopping in Victoria’s Secret at the mall and rounded the corner to discover traditionally-garbed Hutterite women buying thongs.  I had no idea what a Hutterite was, but instantly hunted down my brother elsewhere in the mall to find out who these people were.  All that the “English” seemed to know about them was that they lived in a commune, dressed kind of like the Amish but different, traveled all together to town in a few big vans, and the Hutterite women were always buying thongs at Victoria’s Secret.  Hutterites are rather quiet about their lifestyle though, so when I stumbled across this on a new releases list, I knew I needed to read it to find out more about the community.

This is a completely fascinating memoir that I devoured in one day.  Mary Ann is able to see both the faults and the beauty of various experiences in her childhood with the clear eye of an adult.  Yet simultaneously she harbors no ill-well toward either the Hutterites or her parents or any of those who made her transition from a Hutterite girl to an “English” woman more difficult.  Kirkby writes with a sympathetic ear to all those she encountered in her life, which is a refreshing change in the memoir genre.

Additionally Kirkby’s writing offers an immersion into the fascinating world of communal living with a religious belief system to hold it all in place.  Kirkby recounts a childhood where no homes were kept locked, everyone was always welcome in everyone else’s home, and most meals of the day were eaten communally with your age-mates.  In fact, one of the biggest changes for Kirkby when her family left the Hutterites was suddenly needing to interact with her siblings on a regular basis instead of her same-age female friends.  She also had trouble understanding the English need for privacy in the home or the relative silence with which meals were eaten.

Another point of interest is that Kirkby’s father was from a Russian family that was persecuted in Europe and had to run to Canada to escape the Nazis.  His father sought refuge and a sense of safety in the community of the Hutterites.  Conversely, her father who grew up in this safety found himself craving more freedom than the strict rules and constructs of the commune would allow for.  The book thus not only recounts a unique girlhood and insight into the Hutterite way of life, but also addresses the age-old question of freedom versus security.

Anyone interested in the Hutterite communities or unique childhoods will absolutely enjoy this memoir.  It is well-written, intriguing, and contains not a trace of bitterness.  I highly recommend it.

5 out of 5 stars

Source: Amazon

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Book Buzz: Orchids and Memories: 3 Stories of Hawaii by Robert Soares, Illustrated and Edited by Erin Soares

July 18, 2011 3 comments

Orchid flowersHello my lovely readers!  Since I’m increasingly becoming good friends with writers and other creative types, I want to be able to let you all know when they release new work.  However, I don’t feel like I could fairly review it, since I’m their friend.  Hence the new feature–buzzes!  I’ll just let you know that the piece is out, what it’s about, and where you can get it.  The rest is up to you. ;-)

First up, my friend Erin, who you may remember illustrated my book cover, has edited and assembled a collection of three nonfiction short stories written by her grandfather chronicling his life as a Filipino growing up in Hawaii then coming to the mainland.  The collection calls to light many issues that I know are important to many of you, such as being non-white in America, the problem of higher education for non-traditional students, and environmentalism versus economy.  However, the collection also has universal appeal, as an older person reflects on his life and the successes and mistakes and possible mistakes he’s made.  I think it has wide appeal, and is of course beautifully illustrated by Erin.  It’s available for $2.99 via the Kindle store, and I do hope those of you who find the description appealing will check it out.

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Illustrator/Editor’s Website

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